005. When to Call It Quits: 7 Signs Your Relationship is Over
Is your relationship ripping apart at the seams? Have you invested too much in your relationship and wonder if it’s time to call it quits? Of course we never want a relationship to fail, however failing relationships have become the societal norm. Everyone know multiple people struggling in a relationship that is barely holding on by a thread and a prayer. Sometimes we don’t want to face the music, however there are some sure fire ways to tell if you are no longer experiencing unconditional love and just loving with conditions. Whether you’re young in love or in a seasoned marriage these are some indicators it’s time to call it quits.
There is no trust
Trust is the foundation for building relationships. Healthy, loving relationships involve honesty and integrity, you cannot have love without trust. Trust should be a mutual balance between you and your significant other (SO), if there is a lack of trust you will not be able to find your SO fully reliable, accountable, or responsible. How can you tell if there is a lack of trust? If your partner acts selfishly, keeps secrets, or dismisses your needs, values, or feelings; which in return causes you to wonder if you can trust your SO. Furthermore, a lack of trust can lead to second guessing or inaccurate assumptions regarding various aspects of your relationship. While we are talking about trust, always trust your own intuition. Intuition, that inner voice of your authentic self, never steers you wrong. All you have to do is ask yourself if you’re happy in the relationship with your lover. If your gut tell you something is not right, it probably isn’t.
There is a lack of respect
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Respect is essential in any constructive relationship and a building block of trust. Respect should be mutual and show value for your feelings and wishes. Being respected by your partner means your worth is understood. Your significant other words and actions of your significant other should offer conviction that your opinions, feelings, body and presence are valued. It is important to communicate and maintain boundaries. But please understand in order to get respect it must also be given. Look at the way you interact with your SO and make adjustments to your own behavior if need be. If you do not respect your SO or cannot find anything about that person worth respecting, call it quits. If your SO doesn’t show respect to you, this is a clear sign it may be time to walk away. If respect is gone the relationship becomes toxic and both you and your SO are likely to always be defensive or attacking in your interactions, you are no longer able to be civil with one another.
There is a lack of communication
Just like trust, communication is essential in your relationship, in order to share a mutual understanding of one another. Clear effective communication in a relationship can be the difference between a successful or unsuccessful one. It is impossible to solve any issue in a relationship without open and honest effective communication. If you are in a state in your relationship where all you do is argue or talk about mundane things it is likely because there is a lack of communication. If your SO rarely takes time to listen to you for understanding or fails to make a honest effort to clearly communication his feelings to you, you may be in trouble.
Disagreement whether to have kids
In order to have a successful relationship you should expect to comprise on things from time to time, such as money, family matters, or where to spend the holidays. However, some things are not to be compromised such as religious/spirituality and whether or not to have kids. If your SO is not sure or on the fence you may be able to work through the kids disagreement, however, if your SO is adamant against children and this is a life goal of yours, you may want to call it quits. The same is so for religious disagreements. Your religion is likely very important to you and a driving force behind your life morals, beliefs, and values, therefore, something you are not likely to change or negotiate on.
When infidelity occurs in a relationship it can be hard to move past, but it’s possible with much effort. However, if your significant other is a habitual cheater, this is an enormous hurdle to overcome. Infidelity also breaks trust and shows a lack of consideration or respect for you. And again, trust and respect are two of the vital components of successful relationships. Stereotypically, some men are just not cut out for committed relationships because they are not able to remain monogamous. To make matters worse, in most cases, if your SO is a serial cheater, he will often try to place the blame on you for his infidelity. If your SO is not able to take ownership of his infidelity you may want to move on. Additionally, if you are not able to forgive and forget his fidelity, you need to move on.
When the relationship causes more stress than joy
Are you happier when you are not with your SO? It is common to have ups and downs in your relationship, but your relationship should not cause you more stress than joy. Your relationship should be a safe haven or oasis from the stressors or work, school, the kids, etc. Your SO should be able to help you unwind and offer relief from your stressors not be the cause of it. You feel drained, annoyed and tired after spending time with your partner. You try to have a nice time with them, but the constant arguments and differences in opinions just tires you and makes you want to run away mid-conversation. If you find yourself more stressed by your relationship or try to avoid doing things with your SO to avoid stressful or uncomfortable situations, it’s time to call it quits.
There’s no future
If you avoid making long-term plans with your SO, it is probably because you do not see a future together or your SO is somewhat skeptical when it comes to making plans. If that is the case it’s probably because you know you are not in the relationship for the long haul and your SO does not have a pivotal role in your big picture of your future. Additionally, if you and your SO never have conversations to discuss the future between the both of you, it’s probably because you don’t consider each other in your future plans. Let it go.
In a meaningful successful relationship, you should feel as if you and your SO work as a team, contributions are being acknowledged, and compromise is balanced on both ends. Relationships take work and you are bound to experiences a few ups and downs or bumps in the road, but if you’re experiencing a prolonged state of unhappiness or dissatisfaction in your love life, there’s a very good chance that things are not all jumpy and dandy in love land.