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012. 5 Life Lessons from Mary Jane

Each hour-long episode of Being Mary Jane peels the layers back on Mary Jane Paul, a beautifully imperfect woman who is struggling to get her real life as in order as the one she projects on screen for her midday cable news talk show Talk Back Live. After the first season of this made for television pilot movie turned television series captivated its audience, we were all left wanting more and more of Miss Mary Jane, formerly known as Pauletta Patterson. As the show gives a very candid look into the life of Mary Jane as a strong, successful, and single black woman navigating the afflictions of life, it strategically portrays four key aspects of her life: her love life, her work life, her family life, and her dearest alone and personal moments. On the heels of the finale of the second season of Being Mary Jane, we continue to allow Mary Jane into our homes. When season two concluded with a cliffhanger we were all relieved to hear BET Networks had picked up the show for a guaranteed third season. Undoubtedly every black woman, or all women for that matter (As Mary Jane stated there is an “ugly black woman” in every woman who is fighting to be heard.) can relate to Mary Jane in one way or another. In some instances the show becomes almost uncomfortable and unbearable to watch because certain episodes hit so close to home with many of us. Mary Jane may still have a lot to learn about love, men and family, but there are a few valuable life lessons women can learn from her, too. See what lessons can be garnered from Miss Mary Jane baby!

Life Happens

Much like every other modern day woman, we see Mary Jane dealing with the obscurities of work and personal life balance. The ever-ambitious journalist struggles to prove her value with Talk Back Live and increasing her show’s ratings in the process. When Mary Jane is not working, she’s very involved with her family and close friends. She does her best to always support them and is always willing to offer her opinion about their individual journeys — even if they don’t want to hear it — which is most of the time. At the end of the day, Mary Jane has their best interests at heart, and in turn they have hers, which keeps her grounded. Life is full of unpredictable and sometimes even inconvenient events. You have to learn to just roll with the punches and learn to navigate your way through the circumstances life throws your way. Furthermore, you have to understand sometimes in life bad things happen to good people, but rest assure even on a bad day, it is still a good day.

Money nor Success Brings True Happiness.

Mary Jane is a beautiful, strong, successful, and well-educated woman, she has her on news show, she’s very good at what she does, and very personable. She appears to have it all, yet, we see her on a journey searching for true happiness and fulfillment. Chronicling Mary Jane’s story we can learn that in order to achieve true happiness and fulfillment, you must live a life with meaning and purpose. You can buy the material things, even fundamental, but if you are not living a life with meaning you will always be trying to fill a void in your soul. Happiness dwells in the soul.

Never Let Them See You Sweat

No doubt we have seen Mary Jane in some of her most intimate and vulnerable moments. In Mary Jane’s alone moments throughout the show, we have seen her breakdown into tears, dance away the pain, and so much more. Yet, whenever Mary Jane is in the presence of any company or live in front of the camera, she always appears poised and well put together, with her emotions intact. Every woman is entitled to a good cry every once in a while, but when it is your time to perform, darling, you must do just that! Do not ever allow yourself to lose emotion control in any situation. Always have your emotions in check. Be present in the moment, of all things you wear your expression is the most important. When you have to face the world show them you are sophisticated, dignified and UNBOTHERED!

Live in Your Truth

Accept your truth for what it is. Acknowledge who you are in this moment, define your truth and live boldly and proudly in your truth. Mary Jane is no deal faker, she calls it exactly how it is. A joke is a joke, a spade is a spade and a cuddy buddy is a cuddy buddy. There is no need to sugarcoat anything. Live in your reality, your REAL reality. Mary Jane is no stranger to honesty. She holds herself accountable to facing her truth and is there to show her family and friends their truths if they’re too closed off to coming into their own realities. Living in your truth is all about self-acceptance, knowing your true self and living in that truth. One thing we see from Mary Jane is she posts notes to herself which are beneficial in identifying the good, bad and the ugly in every aspect of her life. Accepting your truth allows you to identify your strengths to use them to your advantage and makes you aware of your iniquities so that you may be able to live freely in truth and complete openness, not only with yourself, but with your family, friends, and the world around you.

Women have to rewrite the book when it comes to dating.

As we glimpse into the love life of Mary Jane not only does she teach us to write our own rules, but that love is not worth losing our morals and we deserve much more than stolen moments. When it comes to the rules of dating, it is up to you to determine, what your guidelines are, what you will or will not accept in a relationship and determine with whom you are will to spend your time and entrust your heart. When it comes to being a single black female, Mary Jane represents what every black woman wants, including a great relationship with a good man. For Mary Jane, despite the trappings of a well-heeled life, she is looking for love in all the wrong places. It might not be so difficult for her to find someone if it were not for Andre. Although Mary Jane learns Andre is married and consequently breaks things off, Mary Jane finds that he’s more difficult to resist than she thought. It also does not help that lurking in the back of her mind is David, Mary Jane’s “end-all, be-all” with whom she has had a tumultuous relationship. Nevertheless, she doesn’t allow love to rule her life. Society puts so much pressure on what constitutes a good relationship or trying to determine the type of person one should be with and in what dynamic. If you learn one thing about dating and relationships from Mary Jane, it is to write your own rules, you know what is best for you in each moment of your life. Don’t let society tell you who you should or should not be with, and under what circumstances. Just like money cannot buy you happiness, money does not buy you the right man, we are all flawed and you have to have the strength to weed through the dis-functional individuals in order to find the good person for you.

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