028. 7 Warning Sign Your Friends Don't Like You
Is your friend really your friend? Friends should be confidants, up lifters when you are down and your entourage when you’re up. Friendships are bound to have its ups and downs, but there should certainly be more ups than downs. Today it can be hard to tell your friends from haters; there tends to be a fine lines in some cases. Anything from greed, envy, dishonesty, and betrayal can impair a friendship. A solid friendship will bounce back fairly quickly from any impairment. On the other hand, if it is not solid she may contend to be a friend with hater tendencies on an occasional basis, also known as a frenemy. Yes, frenemies. I first came across this term in an episode of Sex and the City. Since then, the term has gained much popularity, even making its way into Webster’s dictionary back in 2011. And for darn good reason too! Frenemies are more common than you think. Don’t believe me? Have you watched reality TV lately? Right! Think your friends may be tethering the frenemy line? Would you be able to spot a frenemy in your tribe? Read the signs below and separate your true comrades from foes.
Is your friend nice-nasty? Being nice-nasty is what I call serving up compliments with a deep side dish of shade. Backhanded compliments is the most frequent sign your friend may envy or straight up not like you. If she gives you compliments intertwined in snide remarks she may not be the friend you thought she was. When someone is laced in envy it is common for them to find comfort in counteracting insincere compliments or positive remarks with a negative or backhanded comment.
Solace in your pitfalls but not your accomplishments
Let’s face it, in “girl world” there is always competition, which is great as long as it’s friendly and healthy competition. A frenemy doesn’t mind seeing you do okay, just never better than them. Does your friend find solace in your pitfalls? If so, it may be because she doesn’t want to see you elevate past her, therefore, she finds comfort in your failures or shortcomings. Yet rarely will she find joy in your accomplishments.
Dims your accomplishments
Have you ever been curved by a so-called friend, when you tell your friend exciting news and instead of an elated reaction your friend downplays it. You’ve heard me say a million times, “Let your light shine HUNTY! Let your light so shine so others are encouraged to do the same!” For a friend to attempt to dim your light is the ultimate shade. You may notice a friend is unexcited about your good news or instantly tries to minimize it and you. For example, you get a promotion and your friends explains, “She only got that promotion because her dad works there, and her daddy works in the mailroom anyway.” Or maybe, “Anyone could have gotten that job.” If anyone doesn’t give you credit for your success or tries to create excuses for your success, they are not really being a true friend to you. Real friends give credit when credit is due and celebrates in your glory. When people don’t feel good about where they are in life, they make themselves feel better by acting as though other people’s happiness isn’t so great either.
She Plays Casper
Casper isn’t the only friendly ghost. Have you ever had a friend be so excited to see you, hang out, or catch up, only to bail on you time after time? Or all of a sudden her life has become extremely busy? Does she avoid interactive situations at your happy events…or avoid your events altogether? She’s playing Casper. When friends are jealous, they are known to pull disappearing acts and may elect not to spend her time celebrating your success or happiness which is a constant reminder of her failures or unhappiness.
You fall out easily
Petty is as petty does. I hate pettiness! Why so petty? If you find yourself falling out with the same friend over and over again, it is likely due to underlying issues impairing the friendship. If you notice you’re constantly bickering, your friend may be picking fights with you over the small things because she just really doesn’t like you or it’s an undisguised form of jealousy.
Humiliates you in public
Does your friend try to embarrass you in public or in front of your other friends? When others are insecure and see you shining, they may try to put you down or embarrass you in front of others to make you seem small so they can appear bigger. You may notice her telling your business in public or to mutual family and friends. Insecure or hurt people use gossip as a tool for empowerment, which rarely serves its purpose. You may not notice it at first, but pay close attention to their behaviors and then draw a conclusion. True friends will never humiliate you in front of anyone.
Friday Night Hype
Or maybe your friend is a fair weather beauty? The only time you hear or see her is when it’s all about the good life (i.e. parties, road trips, special events). You may not hear from her Sunday through Thursday, but she contacts you when she wants to walk the red carpet or turn up for the weekend. If she is only there for the ups and trivial moments in your life, but never there when you are down or for significant events in your life it may be time to reevaluate your friendship.
True friends share in your success and happiness minus the shade. Friendship just like any other relationship takes commitment and work. Friendships are not insusceptible to trials and tribulations, but it is up to you to determine with ones are worth savaging. If you suspect your friend exhibits any of these behaviors or traits it is important you openly communicate your observances. Exhibiting any of these signs does not mean your friendship is over but you definitely need to define the boundaries and conditions of your friendship. What are some signs you have seen from frenemies? Post them below in the comments!