As you may call, one of the actions on my vision board is to date more and open myself up to relationships in 2016. As I pursue this aspect of life, be prepared for more candid dating and relationship posts.
Now that I am jumping back on the dating scene, I have been reminded at how awkward and intense dating can be. As I sat down with my friends for advice, I realized how we approach courting with different perspectives and objectives in mind.
A first date is the most important one, first impressions are everything and in most cases can make or break your future with your suitor. My friends and I have compiled our top first date guidelines to help optimize your date night experience. Don’t be anxious follow these tips to ace your first date.
Dress to Impress not to Undress
Guys are physical creatures, while your connection should follow with substance, appearance accounts for 60 percent of a man’s perception on a date. Choose your date night attire carefully, consider the activity and atmosphere of your date and dress accordingly.
Don’t underdress or dress too revealing. You want your outfit to say “Hello I’m here,” not “Hey, come and get me!” Make sure you dress to impress but also dress comfortable. And by comfortable I do not mean your favorite oversized sports sweater. You want to dress comfortable to the extent your mind is at ease and you are not constantly tugging at your blouse or yanking your dress down. Avoid wearing anything you cannot breathe in, walk in or eat in.
Another bit of advice is the wear your favorite color or something people often compliment you in. This trick helps boost your confidence and ups your sex appeal.
Show your date you appreciate and respect his gestures by being on time and showing gratification.
Yeah I know you want to be fashionably late. Being fashionably late may make a good impression, but being on time makes a great first impression. I know stuff happens, if for any reason you are running late, take a moment to text or call your date to inform him of your estimated time of arrival. Be positive, courteous and respectful, not only to your date but the staff at the restaurant or venue.
Let your date lead. Show him that you trust him (in regards to your date that is), let him decide where you go or what activity you will enjoy for your first date. If he offers to pay (which he should) let him do so, don’t offer to go Dutch or split the bill. I don’t care what men’s magazines say! If he asks you on a date it is his responsibility to pay. If you insist on contributing to the bill, offer to leave the tip instead. If he declines your gesture, don’t fuss about it. Let him cover it, feminist won’t hate you.
Put Your Phone Away
Your phone was not invited on the date, YOU WERE!
Social media, work emails, texting your bestie your first date details or whatever can wait until after your date. During your day/night out, you should show off your social etiquette skills and give your date your undivided attention. Texting or surfing social media (or god forbid checking your Tinder profile) while on your date is absolutely horrid. Don’t do it!
Having your phone glued to your palm is offensive. The signal you send to your date is that whatever is on your phone at the moment is more important than what is happening on your date. It’s another way of showing respect and also commits you to really being present in the moment.
Avoid Emotionally Dumping
Talk about you not your circumstances. Avoid talking about the melodrama in your life or past relationships. If your date asks about past relationships it is okay to provide generic details about lengths or common experiences in relationships but avoid blaming or bashing your previous boyfriends or going into too much detail. Keep the conversation casual.
Be careful to not share too much on a first date. Focus on you, not the other person in your relationships. Talk about yourself, who you are, what you like, your interests, etc. Give your date a go idea of who you are, what your relationship standards and preferences are and your intentions.
Conversation Not Interrogation
Don’t waste your first date conducting an interview or interrogation. Don’t get me wrong it is perfectly okay to ask open ended questions about his work, family or hobbies, but keep them general. You are trying to build a connection not hire a sitter.
Keep conversation fun and light. If the conversation is flowing well let it naturally transition through various topics. If you notice the conversation is dying out then you can simply ask questions to fill dead spaces. Don’t let the conversation be a one-way street, sometimes guys will ask you questions in return, but most guys may not. If you do ask questions, be forthcoming in reciprocating answers for the questions you’ve asked.
Don’t Drink Too Much
This should go without saying but avoid inebriation at all cost.
This is for your pride and safety. Plus it’s just not cute AT ALL. Sure alcohol eliminates inhibitions but you owe yourself the opportunity to get to know your date sober. Number one, you want to be able to remember your first date adventures and number two, also be able to make a sound decision on if this is a person you wish to continue to see and build a stronger relationship with.
Now you are first date ready and sure to leave a lastly impression for many dates and good memories to come. Do you have some first date dos and don’ts of your own? Share them and the comments sections below, I’d love to hear your first date rules!